Like most people, I conjure my deepest thoughts in the shower. Exactly what makes standing naked in a box with water dripping down you a safe haven for deep thinking, I may never know. Nonetheless, I believe my bizarre thoughts should be shared via the internet. Below are a list of questions I ask myself while scrubbing my head with berry scented shampoo. Optimistically, you too ponder over these questions- or I may just appear insane.

What if animals can communicate with each other? 

Have you ever imagined if Walt Disney had it right? The idea that animals truly can communicate with each other and simply snicker at our tiny minds is a thought I have constantly. Though it may not be the same way humans interact, animals may speak through a type of sign language or facial signals. The two squirrels who just nibbled on your leftover sandwich are probably judging your eating habits.

Who invented the “high five” and does he/she even know they invented it?

Who was the first to decide colliding hands with another person would serve as a sign of friendship or togetherness? It is quite prodigious that a simple act like the “high five” could become a universal sign. Picture someone making direct eye contact and holding out their hand while the chosen target stares back in complete confusion- how embarrassing.

In England the shower temperature and pressure are different knobs… why is America slacking?

I recently learned showers in England have separate knobs for temperature and pressure. I could never have envisioned such a heavenly sight. Imagine turning to the ideal temperature without the water coming down like a tsunami. Someday I may relish in a shower that doesn’t either burn my scalp off or leave permanent goosebumps all over my body.

At the age of 30, you have spent a month celebrating birthdays.

Think about all you do during the span of a month- now imagine spending that entire time blowing out candles, opening last-second amazon gifts, and keeping the babies away from your good plates. It tires me at the thought of remaining energetic and thankful for a whole month. I suppose if you take into account March, you have one day to be a complete jerk.

Hopefully, I am not the only human alive who contemplates these ideas. It would be logical to simply ask Google why things are the way they are but writing my shower reflections for my school newspaper seems more fun. If by chance my readers find this insane, you can find me using my berry scented shampoo in my one knob shower.